.

Cuffin Season Contract

2011-10-05T11:00:00.000-07:00

CUFFING SEASON (noun) - Period of time in which a man secures a woman’s services for companionship, sexual favors & most importantly to stack paper.

Terms & Conditions

1. Duration - The season begins September 12, 2011(The Monday after Labor Day) & ends May 18, 2012(10 days before Memorial Day). These bookend dates give you sufficient time to acquire a prime free agent to begin your cuff before the start of the NFL season. It also allows you to let them down easy as their contract comes to a close.

2. Who - Choosing who to cuff is essential to your happiness in this season. Try to select a woman with a birthday between June & September & is gainfully employed. Research has found that black women are the best option to acquire because they are so desperate for attention after being ignored all Jump Off season aka summertime that they’ll do any & everything to satisfy you. Understand by cuffing a black woman you are more than likely acquiring a past & most certainly future scorned woman, tread lightly. Dominicans & the ever so popular “Other” are a distant second. Why? Well it is a known fact that cuffing season also masks as breeding season and who gets pregnant faster than Dominican women? Matter fact, if she’s a Dominican without a child you can rest assure her box is wretched and cease all cuffing negations at once. However, Dominicans are amazing to cuff because they will treat you like a king but always try to extend their contract with performance. ”Other” is in play here for the simple fact they are known to be the best looking women on the planet BUT they usually are not good for much else. So when interviewing an “Other” candidate please check her resume’ for domestic history.

3. Responsibilities - The most intricate of them all. She is to cook or bring over dinner at your beckoning call. Cleaning must be done at the very least once a week, including bathroom(they always think that room is an exception, not this season). During sporting events she must have snacks & drinks ready by 12 (noon) & dinner(made or ordered) by 7:15pm the exact time ‘Football in America” on NBC begins. During the actual games, if you have guest over, she must have a book to read & be in a separate room, fully clothed(socks included). NOT parading around in boy shorts & a halter top with no bra showing her supple nipples (See Nerd & Wayno’s Thirst 48) this is a thirst trap. Being that we may not have an NBA season(yes the Knicks got Melo) I ask that you download your teams schedule & she must give you sex during said teams scheduled game. By no means is she ever allowed to wear a scarf, durag or any other contraption on her head while sleeping over. Any masks, retainers or bullshit are prohibited. She is also subject to a thorough search upon entering & exiting your domicile. She may not leave with anything she didn’t come with(I had forks & socks stolen last season smh). All men are different so the rest of her responsibilities are at your discretion but the above is the prerequisite.

4. Social Interaction - The only parties she is allowed to attend are those thrown for an immediate family member, your birthday & her office holiday party. Fuck is she doing out dressed like a “slutty officer” or “slutty nurse” on Halloween? I know Thanksgiving Eve is the biggest party night of the year but she should be in a kitchen prepping for the next day. Christmas she shall be allowed out for Midnight Mass and that is it. New Years Eve? No you can count on her being right next to you on the couch drinking your favorite drink & allowing you to penetrate her by 12:07 after calling her family(immediate only). Facebook is the land of unwaranted thirst & filth so please make sure her relationship status read “Taken”. Nothing more & nothing less. Lastly, if she has a twitter the only acceptable tweets are “#GymFlow” “Mani/Pedi” “Movie night” or any variation of innocence. By no means is she ever allowed to tweet about “Him” because you sir are indeed “Him” & she’s disrespecting your handle 100% by associating you with the ever scandoulous, trifling miscreant “Him”.

5. Benefits - In the interest of fairness, she should reap benefits during this season. You are to allote 30% of your DVR space for her favorite programming but make sure the erase time is set for 2 days. By no means can she get too comfortable, let’s not get out of hand here. If her birthday unfortunately lands during the season, she is allowed to go to her favorite restaurant(at your expense) with her girlfriends(all of which you must screen). She is allowed to leave up to but never exceed four(4) pieces of her property at your domicile for a sense of comfotability. Said articles include a pair of house shoes, a toothbrush, a comb & sweater. Never is she to have any closet space nor leave any feminine products on your premises.

6. Conclusion - This is very delicate. Women are unstable creatures of habit & they conform when comfortable. So when the season comes to an end make sure you break the news in a crowded public area. Preferably you should be good about it & take her out & spend some(as little as possible) of the paper stacked on her as you release her from your roster. Severance packages may be available in the form of considering her for next years Cuffing Season.
These are the rules & they are NON-NEGOTIABLE but feel free to add on anything you feel I may have omitted. I wish you all luck & Happy Cuffing.

This is not the official opinion of mine but its something that I found and wanted to share with you all.

SEX , LOVE, & LIES

2011-09-29T10:00:00.000-07:00

Can a man and woman be friends without having sex? Many people find this scenario hard to believe but yes they can. A man and a woman can be friends as long as they don’t cross that boundary line. Now I am not saying that they can’t be attracted to each other. They can either share a single attraction or a mutual attraction in the relationship. Sex can either make or break the relationship because they not only know that person’s hopes and fears but they now know that person up close and personal along with their desires. That alone can kill a relationship because how can you look at that person the same. Can you really feel comfortable looking your friend in the eye as they talk about someone new that they really like or hear about a recent sexual experience? Now if you were in a previous relationship and parted ways on good terms you can still only be friends as long as you two do not cross that line. Now if your ex was great in bed and you two are now just friends it may be hard to stay in the friend zone so you have to make a decision on whether or not you can still stay friends. If you still want to be friends you may have to be strong and be able to not give into temptation should it arrive.

Most people do not approve of male and female relationships based on their own personal experience. If you sleep with all your friends then it will be hard for you to believe otherwise. A man should always have one good female friend and vice versa. This is so that they can have someone to confide in when they are either dating or in relationships. For example if a man solely depends on his male friends on how to treat a woman or what a woman likes then he can be totally lost on how to treat the right woman when she comes along and vice versa.

Sex Love & Lies Trailer 4 Web Series

Cuffin Season Part 2

2011-09-15T19:37:00.000-07:00

As you may have noticed, each week is color coded to indicate the level of urgency. Green being the least severe and obviously Red being the most critical. That first weekend in Sept. is a make or break weekend.

The summer is coming to an end and there’s at least one more big party/BBQ weekend. Labor Day. You now have the perfect excuse for your 1st ‘date’ like meeting. Invite her out to a BBQ. A party. Beach. Something. Use the holiday to YOUR advantage. Her last big event of the summer ending with you is a plus. No one really wants to hang around the house, so if she doesn’t have plans and you seem sincere, she’s probably going.

Remember it IS a long weekend, no need to be in her face first thing Tuesday. A text to see how she’s doing is cool. No date the following weekend either. Just stick to building up a rapport via conversation. Slow and steady. No need to overdo it unless she’s giving off signs. Plan something the following week. Things go well? Start throwing in Good mornings texts. The rest of the calendar should be rather straight forward.

If you were able to at least loosely follow the steps up until the start of Cuffin Season, you would have had:

1) 2 dates ( The option of a 3rd is possible during the no date week, but that’s based on the signals you’ve been getting. Don’t push.)

2) Went back and forth via text a few times and also sent the infamous “Good Morning” text to which you would have gotten a reply each time.

3) Talked atleast 2x (3x) on the phone with one of them being a long late night cake call. You know the ones. The “Oh shit look at the time. It didn’t even seem like we were talking for so long..” calls.

Congratulations for making it this far. You’re already on the last lap, now its time to secure the win. All that’s left is to make it official. October unlike September, is a very part is open-ended month. Meaning I can’t tell you exactly what to say and when to say it. No two people are the same. This is where judging from all the signals you’ve been getting, you’ll have to figure out exactly when is the most appropriate time.

I will however implore you to do so prior to the heavy #thirstrush. The thirst rush is usually around the time the majority of guys from her past ( Ex’s, current friends, possibly ‘the guy friend’ as well) start getting into their feelings heavily and begin sending those “hey stranger” etc texts and making phone calls professing their love in larger amounts. It begins around the 8th of Oct and concludes towards the end of the month. Be warned, it may start slow, but the colder and later into October we go, the stronger the rush gets.

The most dangerous week falls between October 24th – October 29th. This is known as #MarvinsWeek or #DrakeWeepWeek. Coincidentally, Drake’s “Take Care” album drops October 24th. The sheer amount of Marvin’s room texts will be unimaginable. Your best bet is to wrap this this on a friday / sat. “I really like how things have been going between us. How would you feel if..” You have 3 weekends in which to do so. Pick what works for you. Preferably the weekend before the thirst rush reaches critical levels. If all goes well, you would’ve already sealed the deal and both parties have embraced the Cuff. All those “I miss us” texts from the following #marvinsweek will fall on deaf ears. She’s focused on you and only you. Alright, looks like my jobs done here.

Cuffin Season Part One
Grown Women-vs-Girls

by: Dennis

http://toysldrs.com

DATING 101: A Rose By Any Other Color

2011-09-15T10:00:00.000-07:00

Now let us get down to what the different colors mean when you are selecting roses for you date:

Red – Love, Beauty, Romantic love, Sincere love, I love you.

Red Dark – Unconscious beauty

Red Single – I love you

Deep Burgundy – Unconscious beauty

White – Purity, Innocence, Silence, Secrecy, Humility, Youthfulness, Heavenly, “I am worthy of you”

Pink – Appreciation, “Thank you”, Grace, Perfect happiness, “Please believe me”, Admiration,

Dark Pink – Appreciation, Gratitude, “Thank you”

Light Pink – Admiration, Sympathy, Gentleness, Joy, Sweetness, Grace, Gladness

Yellow – Joy, Friendship, Delight, Promise of a new beginning, I care, Welcome back, Jealousy

Yellow with Red tip – Friendship, Falling in love

Orange – Desire, Enthusiasm

Red and White – When given together they signify unity

Red and Yellow – Happy feelings

Peach - Appreciation, Closing the deal, Let’s get together, Sincerity, Gratitude

Pale Peach – Modesty

Coral – Desire

Lavender – Love at first sight

Orange – Enthusiasm, Fascination, Desire

Black – Death, Farewell

Blue – The unattainable, The impossible

Single –any color – Simplicity, Gratitude

Red Rosebud – Symbolic of purity and loveliness

White Rosebud – Symbolic of girlhood

Thorn-less Rose – “Love at first sight”

DATING 101: What is dating etiquette?

2011-08-31T11:00:00.000-07:00

What is dating etiquette? Well this will give you a basic rundown of some do’s and don’ts on a date.

On the date the man should always open the door for the lady and at the start of the date he should greet her at the door. Do not:

1) Call her and tell her to come outside.

2) Honk your horn till they come outside.

3) Yell out the car window for her to come outside.

Should I Get a Gift?

One question that has been asked is if a gift should be given on the first date. I don’t believe in gifts on first dates unless it is their birthday. If it is a birthday a card should be sufficient. Spending money on an extremely nice or expensive gift is not necessary because you don’t really know that person and if they are expecting that then that may not be the person that you are looking to date seriously. Flowers are an optional gift if you are going to get one at all. Flowers can speak volumes if you make the right selection. If she mentions that she likes flowers and she mentions on that she likes then get that one. If she does not mention any then roses are a safe bet. Because it’s a first date a single rose is sufficient. You don’t have to buy a bouquet unless you want to. If you are going for a romantic touch please be in mind that each rose that has a different color also has a different meaning as well. Carnations are also a great flower to get as well.

At The Restaurant

Once at the restaurant the man should pull out her chair or wait for her to be seated first. Offer to assist her in taking off her coat. When ordering your meal please order entrees that you like and based on how hungry you are. Don’t order steak and lobster if you only have an appetite for an appetizer and vice versa. If you can’t finish your entrée get a “take out box”. There is nothing worst that watching your date eat two bites and then saying that they are full with a dish that is costing you $25 or more. That will definitely end the night early. When paying for the meal the one that asks for the date is the one that should be paying. When planning the date you already know what you budget is so make sure it is something that you can afford. Don’t ask your date to the movies and then hope they don’t ask for refreshments because you don’t have enough money.

Conversation

During the date three subjects should never be discussed are religion, politics, and abortions. These are not topics of casual conversation. These are debate topics. Remember you are trying to get to know a person. In the getting to know a person process it will help you to later understand why they have certain views about a subject. If you are going to talk about your past relationships please keep it short and simple. The best way to answer the question is to state that things just did not work out. The details specific details are not of importance during the first date. If talking about your past relationship is still painful then politely tell your date that you do not want to talk about it. Your date should respect that and change the subject.

If you are going to talk about children do not talk negative about the other parent. If the other parent is active in the child’s life then state that they are and if they are not then just say that they are not. Going into specifics as to why they are not active can be a bit overwhelming for a first date. An example of giving to much information is this:

Male: Why did the last guy let a beautiful woman let you get away?

Woman: This muthafcuka thought he was slick and was fucking my co-worker and thought I wasn’t going to find out. I fixed his ass and that bitch.

Can you see how that may sound a bit overwhelming to someone on the opposite end of the conversation? That only shows that you still have a lot of emotional baggage to deal with and you are definitely not ready to move on yet.

Leaving the Tip

Who should leave the tip? Customarily the one that is paying for the meal is the one that leaves the tip however it’s a new era. The one that is invited to dinner should leave the tip. Now the person paying the bill may just take care of the tip however you should always should make the first offer to get the tip. When leaving the tip don’t go cheap leave a 10% to 15% tip.

End of the Date

Men should always walk her to the door. If she insists that you don’t have to walk her to the door watch to make sure that she makes it to the door and makes it inside safely. Ladies like a sense of protection. If she is the driver on the date then call her to make sure that she made it home.

When it comes to the goodnight kiss please be aware that the goodnight kiss is optional and not mandatory. Goodnight kisses are earned and if you don’t get one then maybe you have not earned enough points to get the kiss yet. If there is a kiss hands should be at her waist. The kiss is not your opportunity to get free feels on your date unless she gives you permission to.

I hope some of these things give you an idea of what to do on a first date or any date at all. Married couples can also apply these rules when doing their date nights as well. Just because you are married does not mean the romance should end. You can always recreate a first date to continue the romance that you two share.

Dating 101: What a man should wear on the first date
Dating 101: What a woman should wear on a first dat e

"Gentlemen" Are They Worth It?

DATING 101: How a man should dress on the first date

2011-07-08T06:36:00.000-07:00

So you have finally asked her out on the date and found the perfect location but what do you wear? Depending on the location depends on the attire. When choosing something to wear you always want to be comfortable but you never want to look like you just woke up out of bed. Besides being freshly shaven and having a fresh hair cut you need to take some time in choosing the right attire as well. White t-shirts and sagging pants are definitely a no, no. You are making your first big impression on this date. How you dress sends the right signals. A man in a suit or dressed business casual gives the impression of a stable man and a provider. Clothing that is to tight or to large symbolizes a man that is not serious about life. Your outfit can still be fun and comfortable.

WHAT A MAN SHOULD WEAR

If you are taking her on an evening dinner date you always want to wear a button down shirt and a nice pair of khakis or dress pants. The button down shirt should not contain large or many patterns on them. The shirt can be worn with or without a tie depending on the location that you have chosen for the date. When choosing a tie you want to choose something that adds the shirt and never choose comical patterns. I you have a difficult time choosing a tie you can always ask your tailor or the sales rep in the men’s department. If you are not wearing a tie then only the two top buttons of the shirt can be undone. Anything more than that gives the signal that you deem yourself a pimp or a gigolo which is a turn off. If you are going on a lunch or movie date a nice golf shirt or you can wear the long sleeve shirt as stated above. Graphic t-shirts are unacceptable. You don’t want her prejudging you based on the phase on your t-shirt.

Suit Jackets are optional depending on the weather you can wear a suit jacket. I would recommend bringing on along just in case you and your date decided to take a walk after wards. You may want to give her the jacket during the walk. The suit jacket should either match or compliment your pants. It does not have to match your shirt. The jacket should not be tight and should be of one solid color. Remember this is a first date and you want your date to be focused on you and not the many colors and patterns that you are wearing. The pants should be either khakis or dress pants. You can wear jeans as long as they are a nice clean pair that does not have any rips in them and please remember that you are wearing a belt (the origin of sagging came from jail). Pants below you butt is not sexy. Shoes should always be a nice pair of dress shoes preferably black or brown. If you are wearing tennis shoes a solid color or minimal colors would be preferred. Colorful dress shoes may be your style however you want to save that for a later date. You don’t want to wear bright color shoes unless you want to come across as a pimp please wear dress socks with dress shoes and not white socks). Accessories include one belt, one watch, and one ring. Necklaces are optional and should be kept at a one necklace minimum. Cologne should be light and not over powering. If you are not a sure what cologne to choose you can always use a classic favorite like Old Spice or you can even try using Axe ladies still like either or.

I hope that some of these tips help you to when you are preparing for your first date. You always want to make a good first impression even if you met and you were not dressed like above. Its always nice for a woman to see that a man has versatility in his style of dress. This makes a woman want to get to know you more.

Dating 101: Dating etiquette
Dating 101: What a woman should wear on a first dat e

DATING 101: How a woman should dress on the first date

2011-07-08T05:49:00.000-07:00

So you have just met someone and you have spent countless hours on the phone getting to know that person and now you are ready for the first date. After you get past the critical part of deciding where to go you now have to figure out what do to wear. The destination always determines what one should wear. Dinner date, lunch date, movie date, or activities planned for the entire day choosing what to wear can’t be an easy task because you want to make a great impression. You want to pick something that you feel comfortable in but not too comfortable.

LADIES WHAT TO WEAR

If it is an evening date the females should wear a nice cocktail dress (you should also include a spank with the dress to give that smooth look) that once again is not more than an four inches above the knee. Always wear the correct bra as well. You want a bra that seamless but gives great lift and has great shoulder support (a good bra gives the impression of fertility) the dress can reveal the shoulders but never give too much cleavage. You don’t want to give the wrong impression. As much as men are very visual they are very judge mental as well. If he is taking you to a restaurant and you wear the mini dress with a lot of cleavage you give him the impression that you are loose and that you will probably perform some sexual act for him at the end of the date. When making the right selection for underwear it is very important that you make a selection that fits the dress. When wearing a form fitting dress you want to wear seamless underwear or a thong. Make-up should enhance you facial features so you want to stick to browns, beige, and pinks. The same should be for the lipstick and gloss as well. Men like a woman who does not look like she has on a lot of make up because he likes to envision what he would like to wake up to each morning. If choosing the right color for you is hard take a trip to Sephora. The ladies and gentlemen are always happy to help you with making the right color choices even if you are not purchasing. The purse should be small preferably a clutch purse or small handbag. Heels should not be more than 4 inches. Anything over 6 inches should be saved for the bedroom. If you have purchased new shoes for the date you want to wear them around the house to make sure that you are able to walk in them. A woman with good posture in heels exudes confidence. Jewelry should be kept to a minimum. Ladies you either wear a fashionable watch or a nice bracelet never both. If the top of the dress has a fashionable design no necklace is needed. Small studded earrings are preferred. If you dress is simple in design a great pair of earrings are the only accessory that you need possible a drop or chandelier. Remember you jewelry should always compliment and never out shine. Perfume should be subtle and not over powering. If you do not like perfume than a try a great lotion from Bath and Body works from such as Chinese Cherry Blossom or Twilight. Last but not least we discuss hair. Ladies need to be clean shaven or waxed unless in previous conversation the other party states that he likes hairy women. If you are done like shaving you may want to try waxing (which is not as painful as you may think) or try using a man’s razor because the more blades that it has the more even the cut and less irritation. Hair should be natural or natural looking. If you have a bold color in your hair the color should compliment you skin tone and should not match your dress. No one wants to go out with a clown. If you are not a dress or skirt person black evening pants and a camisole or dressy tank top can work as well. A boot cut pant leg is great along with a great short blazer jacket and a large necklace. The shirt should be fun a flirty but never sheer or low cut tops. Ladies if you have double D’s you can still find a find top that works for you.
If you are going on a lunch date or a movie date the same rules apply as above. The difference with a lunch/movie date is what you wear. You can wear a dress if you like but follow the rules above. A lunch date is little more relaxing. A great pair of khakis with a wide waist can hold in a stomach. If you have a killer pair of calves you want to show off then cropped pants are for you. Never wear a mini skirt or shorts because that gives the wrong impression. Shirts once again should not reveal cleavage. Graphic tees are not appropriate because you don’t want you date to judge you because of what you shirt says (remember we are still in the get to know you stage). Large purses are also a no, no because it can symbolize baggage. No man or woman wants to feel like they are inheriting you problems and insecurities. Small purses symbolize that you have you life in perspective and you know what you like. A great example of a perfect outfit that you can wear to is a great button down shirt with large cuffs with a skinny or boot cut jeans. You can wear a great fitted blazer or feminine jacket. Large prints can be a distraction because you want your date to focus on you and not the large prints that you are wearing and the multi colors you have in your hair.

WHAT TO KEEP IN THE SMALL PURSE

Ladies you don’t need to carry your entire life in a purse especially when going on a date. The top six items to carry in your purse are as follows:

1) Make-up compact with a mirror
2) Lip gloss/lipstick
3) Cash and credit
4) Keys
5) Condoms
6) Small compact comb/brush

These are the essential items that you should carry in your purse. I know that you may be wondering why I said carry condoms especially if it’s the first date and you are not planning on taking it to that level. Well I firmly believe that it is better to be safe than sorry. I can’t control how you decide to end the date but if you decide to skip the rest of the courtship and go straight to third base you want to make sure that you are taking care of yourself. But remember that going immediately to third base will not guarantee a second date or a phone call. You can remove yourself as an option as a potential partner and be moved to the hoe list.

Dating 101: How a man should dress on the first date
Dating 101: Dating etiquette

Have You Been Cuffed Yet?

2010-10-14T05:38:00.000-07:00

Have you cuffed or been cuffed for "Cuffin Season" yet? As we all know Cuffin Season ends on November 1st and as we enter the last few days of October we start to enter crunch time for that last minute season pick. For those that are not familiar "Cuffin Season" it is the time when many people in the Midwest and on the east coast find someone to be with during the winter season. The mindset is to have someone that you can "cuddle" with on those cold nights. Many people that end up in a relationship during this season end up single soon as the weather turns warm. I have viewed many websites that have discussed what "Cuffin Season" is but none of them actually went to the extent to explain how the "Draft" works. I recently sat down with one of my close friends R.O.B (@therealR_O_B) and I asked the question: "how do some guys pick that girl to be with during cuffin season "?

For the first time ever I received a very true answer that I wanted to share with you all.

The Analogy

During the choosing process there are always at least two main choices to remember girl A and girl B. Girl A is the one that cooks, has no drama, owns her own house or car, has a degree or is in school, has goals, and has a good job. Girl A is the one that all the rap/love songs describe how a real woman should be (the ones that they truly want). Girl B doesn't cook, always has drama, emotionally dependent, receives housing assistance, has no real goals in life, and she may not have a job.

When the choices are that obvious for most men it is still hard to decide. The major deciding factor can come down to the finances. He may have asked Girl A to buy him something but at the time she couldn't because she had to take care of her responsibilities such as paying her rent/mortgage. He asks Girl B for the same item and she purchases it because she has the disposable income because her rent is only $20. The man will put up with all the drama and nagging with Girl B because she will spoil him because she doesn't have any real financial responsibilities. It doesn't mean that he doesn't really like Girl A. He can be with Girl B and still want Girl A. If Girl A was to call and say that she purchased the item he would leave Girl B for Girl A and never look back. If he was an adult materialistic items would not compare to the positive characteristics of a real woman.

I know that some you reading this will disagree on this analogy but if you really think about it how many times were you seeing someone and they told you that it wasn't working and they ended up with someone that you didn't feel even matched your characteristics by a long shot. Some may write it off based on the sexual relationship which can play a part sometimes but we question it when they call to sleep with you again. Now to be fair there is nothing wrong with someone that is getting house assistance. The only problem is when you are not using it wisely. If you rent is only $20 you should be saving any extra that you make to better yourself. If you are using the extra income that you have to go out and party or buy designer clothing then that is when it becomes a problem. However that can make someone else more appealing for some that are looking for a financial gain.

The saying is true:
People come into your life fora Reason a Season or a Lifetime.

When you know which one it is,you will know what to do for that person.When someone is in your life for a REASON,it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.They have come to assist you through a difficulty,to provide you with guidance and support,to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.They may seem like a godsend and they are.They are there for the reason you need them to be.Then,without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.What we must realize is that our need has been met,our desire fulfilled, their work is done.The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON,because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.They may teach you something you have never done.They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.Believe it, it is real.But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons,things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.Your job is to accept the lesson,love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant

Cuffin Season Part 2

Celibacy Part Two

2010-09-30T05:03:00.000-07:00

On October 1st I entered my tenth month of celibacy and I will admit I am more frustrated than ever. So you may be asking yourself "why are you celibate"? Simple "I am looking for a monogamous relationship"! I want to be with someone that I can be totally uninhibited with sexually. I can't be that way with someone that I am just having casual sex with. I will admit that I am possessive and that I am more aroused when I am the only one making you feel some kind of way. Until I can find that special someone I rather remain celibate because just having casual sex no longer satisfies me anymore. Recently one of my close friends asked me some interesting questions about me being celibate.

What is it like to be celibate? I am ten months in and I am going to be very truthful when I say that I have been very stressed and frustrated. I haven’t even used any toys to release any sexual tension.

What do you do when you become aroused? Food has become my best friend. I crave anything rich and flavorful. I new eating habits have caused me to go through puberty again because I have developed and serious case of acne. I try not to watch anything that involves a lot of sexual content to avoid any sexual thoughts.

How did you manage to last this long? This first month was easy because I had the flu and once I got over that I caught a cold. There aren't that many people lined up to sleep with you when you are sick. The next couple of months were fine the stress and frustration did start to show until six months in. I became moody and that's when my late night food cravings began. I didn't devolope acne until month eight and it didn't get worst until month nine. I seem to finally have the acne and my eating habits back under control. My want and need to have sex seems to be fading away.

What happened to the last guy? I didn't choose to be celibate because of a man. There was no failed relationship or heartbreak that led me to this decision. As for the last guy somethings aren't meant to last I guess. The only thing about being celibate is dating. Its hard to tell if someone dating you for you are just to see if they can be the first one to sleep with you.

As I stated in part one being celibate is not easy. It is not only a mental but physical challenge as well. Whatever your reason for choosing to be celibate please remember that it is worth it

Check out this video out:

Let's Talk About Love: Santa Monica Ep. 1 from Trillvision on Vimeo.

Celibacy Part One

2010-09-28T14:48:00.000-07:00

The complete freedom from all kinds of sexual thoughts and wishes is known as celibacy. It is defined as a complete and the total control of all senses in thoughts, words, and deeds. Celibacy is not just bachelorhood, but a strict abstinence from sexual intercourse, auto-erotic manifestations, masturbation, homosexual acts and all pervert sexual practices. There are many different reasons why some people practice celibacy. Some of these reasons include: Religious belief, focus on one's career, an attempt to gain a sense of self and independence from others, to avoiding being emotionally hurt, or the lack of a sexual appetite. According to the basics of celibacy semen is the essence of life and should not be wasted if one wants to stay healthy. The many benefits of celibacy include:

Social benefits: People who practice celibacy can socialize with and get involved in dating with people of opposite sex without having any pressures and discomfort of negotiating with them for sex.

Prevents pregnancy: Getting involved in sexual acts with the opposite sex results in unexpected and unwanted pregnancies.

Natural protection against diseases: Unprotected or unsafe sex results in the occurrence of many sexually transmitted diseases like AIDS. Even after using artificial contraceptives like condoms transmission of these diseases occurs because of failure of these contraceptives.

Success in marriage Keeping strictly away from sex until marriage, helps in bringing success to married life. Studies have revealed that people who enjoy sex before marriage are at a greater risk of keeping their partners dissatisfied and getting divorced.

Teaches unconditional love Maintaining celibacy helps a person to learn to love unconditionally than just lust. Relationships that are based on lust often end up in failure. This is because lust that holds them together soon subsides leaving behind a stream of emptiness. Relationships that are based on love and affection are concerned with the inner person than outer appearances and are permanent.

Builds a stronger relationship Sex interferes with the essence of any relationship. Many couples blame sex to be the major cause of breaking their otherwise healthy relationships. Partners stopped knowing each other as most of their time went away in focusing on sex.

Prevents depression Failure in sexual relationship brings heartbreak, anger, regret, feeling of being worthless and emotional turmoil to both the partners.

Practicing celibacy does not cause any danger and disease to the human body. Being Celibate is not easy especially if you are just starting out. Being celibate does not mean going without sex for just a month. It is something that you have to be willing to do mentally and physically. There are side effects to being celibate which includes excessive hunger, anger, sleepless nights, and acne. I will admit that this is not for everyone and yes I have tried this myself. Stay tuned for part two of Celibacy as I give you detailed information of what its like to be Celibate.

Celibacy Part 2

Reflections & Confessions of the HEART

2010-03-04T06:56:00.001-08:00

What is LOVE?...... Is LOVE truly unconditional?...... Is LOVE truly blind or do we simply put on the "shades"?.....Why do we tend to hurt those who love us most?........Why isn't LOVE EASY or is it supposed to be, when its RIGHT? Or does it take WORK? When does ones mistake out weigh the mistakes of another?

These are some questions that I have been forced to ask my HEART lately and to be honest I am no more closer to finding an answer than I was the day I decided to leave....

I simply bottled my feelings up, placed a band-aid over my heart, and shelved another broken heart on aisle 9 next to the bottle of HURT, PAIN & DISAPPOINTMENT.

Is it so hard to ask for someone to love and cherish you like you know you deserve and that you have given whole heartily...or must one be taught? Is it unfair to assume that another person should know the value of TRUE LOVE? or is that learned, one heart break after another; wither you are the one who is doing the heart breaking or the one who is standing by and having your heart broken?

Can a heart be mended after some time of healing....or does that bond that should have been cherished unrepairable...?

I have pondered that very question over and over again to the point that I have almost felt as though I may loose my sanity. I know the value of LOVE and I know how much of a precious gift LOVE is....and I know what it means to have someone betray that trust...

I have laid under the covers...hidden from the world, locked away and have even told myself that I would never love again in FEAR that my HEART would be broken once again by another.

I have found myself back to an all to familiar place - MISTRUST....DISAPPOINTMENT.....tainted LOVE...all because of anothers actions and failure to protect and cherish the gift that I decided to share with them.

In my wisdom I have learned that despite all the hurt that one can take you through, you don't stop loving or caring for them....its just not that easy to walk away when its real....especially when you feel as if you have given your all to someone. It hurts to think that the dreams and bond you wanted to share with that one person is torn away from a single or multiple nights of unfaithfulness, lies and deceit.

When I look at you I become angry because of all the lies you told and hurt you caused me...but there is a part of me that misses the way that only you could hold me, fond memories that only we will share and secrets that the only the 2 of us know.....Is it fair to say in time a person deserves a second - third - fourth of fifth chance? Is it simply human nature to hurt the things we love....is it really that hard to decide that what you have isn't worth a one night nut buster of joy and sexual fulfillment...?

What happens when you feel torn? - on one hand do I stay with the one who has been there through many of my own personal ups an downs, who supports my dreams like no other has before as if they were their own dreams and goals and was able to admit their wrong doings despite the possibility of loosing me, because truth be told I would have never known what they had done or....on the other hand do you allow that one you gave your all to come back in your life, the one you called your TRUE LOVE - the one who knows you so well - who was able to lie - cheat - and disrespect what the two of you shared even when being caught "red handed"....??? Or do you simply say FUCK u both and as Jay Z says; "On to the next one"?

When do you let go of all that hurt & pain and simply say enough is enough?

These are the reflections and confessions of my heart .....of my past - present and possibly my future.
These are the thoughts I take with me on a daily.....these are the things that I ponder at night.....these are the reflections and confessions of my heart.

Signed,

Not a poet but simply the whispers of a broken heart.

I AM THE WIFE YOU B!T@H!!

2010-03-01T20:38:00.000-08:00

I am the wife most likely referred to as the “Bitch of a Wife” by the Married man and The Other Woman. I am sure that he calls me other names as well. They may even have a pet name that they both call me. I have some names that I call the both of them too like: Gutter Troll, Ego Maniac, Man Child, Side Piece, Side Ho, Strumpet, and Crumb-snatcher. I am not here to name call so I'll move on. For the sake of simplicity I will use initials as I refer to us. I will keep “BITCH OF A WIFE” for me, “MY MAN” for married man and “THE OTHER WOMAN” for the other woman.

Dear “THE OTHER WOMAN”,

I am the centerpiece placed proudly upon the bountiful table that “MY MAN” and I have set. I am surrounded by our children, memories, career, home, our life. You stand off to the side, like an indentured servant, you are not ALL ”Other Woman” ED to eat at the table. You must stay at a distance, mouth watering, hoping for a crumb to drop so you can hit your knees and go for it. The holidays and all their bounty are reserved for me and mine. ”THE OTHER WOMAN” only gets the leftovers. For an example ”MY MAN” comes to you a day/days after Thanksgiving, like the left over turkey he is, and feeds you the scraps from his crotch.

You think it's a big deal that he wants to f*k you (oopsies her word not mine) but has to make love to me. He fucks me .sexes me too, during the lovemaking. “THE OTHER WOMAN” inferred that I couldn't compete with her in the sexual arena. I DON'T HAVE TO. I won before you even came on the scene. I have the title of “Mrs. Him” and regally wear the CR ”Other Woman” N of Virtue. “MY MAN” KN ”Other Woman” S it too but plays mind games with you, prompting you to compete in a bogus competition with me. “MY MAN” is a self serving ego maniac and he gets his best work out of you that way. “THE OTHER WOMAN” gets conned into doing all the crap that “BITCH OF A WIFE” doesn't have the time, mind or stomach to do. “THE OTHER WOMAN” is required to do the things that “MY MAN” doesn't ask his ”BITCH OF A WIFE” for out of respect for her. “MY MAN” and BW have 'to do' lists, 'Honey Do' lists and a shit list. You, dear “OTHER WOMAN”, have been assigned the shit list. So go ahead and sex him. Fuck him until he is too tired to whine, piss and moan when he gets home to me. Work him until he is all chipper because then he is helpful around the house, playful with the kids and brings me great guilt gifts. Here's a morsel for you and him. You are really my side hoe/handmaiden. “MY MAN” is your Sweet Daddy, huh? That make's you MO ”My Man” Y's little helper. The “BITCH OF A WIFE” is not your average wife. ”BITCH OF A WIFE” KN ”Other Woman” S that you exist, lets you stay and play and to pick up her slack.

You think that ”BITCH OF A WIFE” just can't find you. You think that ”MY MAN” has you hidden from me? Please know that “MY MAN” only has you thinly veiled for his “Other Woman” N purposes. He leaves me clues to get caught, but we'll get to that later. “BITCH OF A WIFE” is too busy living and maintaining their life and enjoying the fruits of his labor. Your statement about you and me not traveling in the same circle is so true. You are circling with the other gold digging buzzards waiting for someone's relationship to die... Like all of Tiger Wood's little tigresses that are coming out of the 'Wood works' ”THE OTHER WOMAN”'s feast on the remains because you are either too lazy or too weak to take on the challenge of getting a real live relationship of your “Other Woman” N. “MY MAN” is aware of your weakness so he plays dead, then preys on You. When he does “DO NOT” call my house ranting and crying or send me anonymous letters and crap. Call a therapist. I will deal only with “MY MAN”, not for cheating, but for being sloppy. by leaving clues to give you and me access to each other to cause a fight to end the relationship with you. I admire Elin Woods for H ”Other Woman” she handled her situation. I am sure that she was aware that he was cheating, it comes with the Professional Athlete marriage package, but N ”Other Woman” he has embarrassed her and the “cubs”. She hasn't said anything to the tigresses that taunt and mock her, she dealt with her man, Cheetah, I mean...Tiger. I am not supporting domestic violence as I applaud her golf club swinging. I am simply supporting the sport of Women's Golf. Again, so you say you "can get it up" for him too. Lil girl, I am the mainline as you called me. Not only can I get him up, keep him up but I can "hold it D ”Other Woman” N for him. I am his anchor. The life we built is the solid, grounded, safe structure that shelters him in the storms of life. It is the structure from which he leaps and springs “The Other Woman” ARDS you when he wants a recess break and when it is over he then runs back home.

He is a whining man ”MY MAN” is with a “BITCH OF A WIFE”, and he likes it that way. Men, like him have MO ”My Man” Y issues. They provoke their wives to act more like angry mom's than wives. These men like “Bitch moms”. They say they do not, but they do. These men only feel safe and comfortable with a “BITCH OF A WIFE”. It's been 5, 10, 15, 20 years or more and he is still with her. Trust me it ain't for the kids or house. He's a lying wonder if he told you that. “MY MAN” tells “THE OTHER WOMAN” that he hates “BITCH OF A WIFE” and exclaims that “THE OTHER WOMAN” is much sweeter, compassionate, understanding and more beautiful and blah frickidy blah. He tells “THE OTHER WOMAN” that to keep her from demanding or asking anything for herself in the relationship. “THE OTHER WOMAN” must suffer silently and do it in stilettos, make up and a perfect do. “BITCH OF A WIFE” can say what she wants, H ”Other Woman” ever she wants and look raggedy doing it because she pays the cost to be the boss . If he calls me with some excuse to go out and play with you and my answer is, "No! Bring your ass home, N ”Other Woman”", he does. If he doesn't answer the phone when I call while he's in the room with you, it's not to spare your feelings. “MY MAN” does that to spare his ego. “MY MAN” doesn't want you to see him C ”Other Woman” ERING or hear him begging or whining. He's like a rebellious kid not answering it because he KN ”Other Woman” S I'm calling him home, it is time to come in. If I tell him to come N ”Other Woman” and he doesn't, we both KN ”Other Woman” I will come looking for his monkey ass or that there will be hell to pay when he finally does get in. “MY MAN” needs to keep up a brave front for you to preserve the fantasy that he has balls. “The Other Woman” gets to hold his 'member' and tickle his fancy. I have the keys to his heart, secrets, fears and strength. I have his wallet, checkbook AND his balls. Next time you're on your knees, crumb snatching, look for 'em if ya don't believe me. As you were ending your letter you claimed that "the affair would end when you were done with the thrill", correction. Our life is the structure from which he leaps “The Other Woman” ARDS you attached by a bunji cord plunging into an affair. “MY MAN” bounces up and D ”Other Woman” N back and forth between “BITCH OF A WIFE” and “THE OTHER WOMAN”. After the thrill is gone for him or I no longer have use for you, it is over. He will hang out for awhile bouncing and swaying less and less. I will let him dangle giving him time to see his fool hardiness then I reel him in SL ”Other Woman” LY. By giving him time to let the blood rush back into his head it will dawn on him that he could possibly have lost me. He begins to think about what would have happened if the cord had snapped on the way D ”Other Woman” N. What if it snapped on the way back? I am starting to feel a little like Angela Bassett in 'Waiting to Exhale' and 'What's love got to do with it'. I,”BITCH OF A WIFE”, used to be his passion, light hearted, carefree and blah, blah, frikedy, blah too. The unhealthy dynamics this of marriage and pressure of being married to a selfish, reckless, man-child has taken its toll on me. Bitches are not born, they are man made and cultivated. We are born to be a cherished, protected, beloved CR ”Other Woman” NING glory to mankind known as a WOMAN. When women are made to earn every sliver of love and not taught our true worth, we become super women. When we are broken and marred by the cruelty of those entrusted to love us, and tire of the endless bullshit, we enter into survival mode an morph into BITCHES or lay D ”Other Woman” N and become “THE OTHER WOMAN” or worse.

“OTHER WOMAN” get a clue, get off you knees, get a life and get gone.

Sincerely,

“BITCH OF A WIFE”
Smooches Bitches!

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This blog is a holla' back at the, 'I AM THE OTHER WOMAN', story I read on mentallyorgasmic.com. Her story, the Tiger Woods and “Woodrats” saga, and Jon and Kate plus Hailey plus Deanna inspired me to do this piece. It is not a verbal chic fight but a representation from the other camp. Like her story my character is a fictional compilation of several women.

I Am The Other Woman

MY FIRST TIME

2009-12-13T21:24:00.000-08:00

The first time I saw her it was purely by accident. The room was dark except for the moonlight that shined through the windows. The moonlight showed only the silhouettes of the bodies but I could still see them. She was biting her lower lip and her hair was disheveled. Her her head was turned slightly to the left towards me but her eyes were slightly closed. The left arm was positioned by her right breast slightly elevating her off the bed as her hands gripped the sheets. She used her left hand to push back into him.

There he was with his strong muscular body positioned behind her. His facial expression was focused on her form. He placed his left hand on the middle of her back pushing her down to arch her back. He used his right hand that was placed between the crease of her thigh and torso to pull her close as he thrust deeply inside her. The deeper the stroke the more she bit her lip. As sexy as he looked there was something about her that intrigued me. The way her body moved with each stroke. I couldn't take my eyes off her.

NIGHT 2

Her hips and back were raised slightly off the bed. She placed her hands above her head and firmly pressed them against the wall. His right hand was positioned under the arch of her back. His left hand clinched her left breast. Her head turned slightly to face her hands. She was having an orgasm as she moaned "Oh My God". Her facial expressions showed both pleasure and pain. He smiled at her as her body convulsed from the orgasm that he had given her. The orgasm was so strong that her breathing became intermittent. Her legs wrapped tightly around his waist. It was one long continuous orgasm. Her body shivered and shook.

NIGHT 3
She was mounted on top of him. His back was rested against the wall. His hands gripped her waist as she rode him. She leaned into him placing her left breast in his mouth. You could tell that she enjoyed the way his tongue flicked around her nipple as she tilted her head slightly back and softly moaned. She brought her head back forward and looked down at him as she moved her breast in and out of his mouth as if teasing him. She cupped the back of his head and told him to suck harder as she rode him faster and harder. It was the the build up of the orgasm that she longed for. That is when he noticed me watching. He took his left hand grabbed my hair tightly and began fucking me as hard as he could. As I began to cum he pulled me close and whispered in my ear "So, you like to watch yourself"? I took my eyes off of my reflection in the mirror and turned to him and replied "Yes".

LOVING FROM BEHIND

2009-10-21T20:10:00.001-07:00

My First Anal Encounter

My first invitation to offer anal pleasure to a woman came during college when I was dating white girls. I was dating this one girl in particular when I first experienced anal. During a night of intimacy that’s when it happened. I just got done giving her oral stimulation (I once was so eager I got hiccups while eating her out but that’s another story). The anal sex topic was indeed her idea and yes I was curious but in my mind I was thinking “will my dick smell like shit “, “will it fit”, “will it hurt her – shit will it hurt me”? I thought of the expansion of the sphincter muscle and the tight feeling as if it she were a virgin and the control and then you go for it. She takes my manhood which could break a brick at this point. My Dick was so hard it was throbbing and it was hot she gave me an extra wet blow job, to fully lubricate my shaft. While turning over to get in doggy style, she just guided my Dick into her ass – working the head first back n forth. She said “never want to force or jam it in till she gapes”. In case you don’t know “To Gape” means the anus has sort of opened; through anal four-play to the size of the penis she is working with. Once she achieved “Gape” I really started to get into it – hot – tight – and her moans of pleasure and pain were a big turn on. She he let me have my way with her ass literally for 45minutes! After she came she gave me the “serious ok” – she twisted her self to look me I the eye – and said in the sexist voice I’d heard to date- “CUMM IN MY AZZ, DO IT – DO IT CUMM I N MY AZZ”!! I don’t know why but that shit is like a license to tear some shit up – I put one hand on her shoulder, the other at the fold of her hips, and I rose up on my toes. When I got her and myself in position it was on. I tried to pay her back for slavery, civil rights, Malcom X, Martin, and Kennedy. I was so deep inside her. The excitement of anal sex was so powerful that when I came it was so much it ran out her azz as she lay there shaking, sweaty, and moaning with pleasure from sexual pain.

Is it her pleasure or your pleasure?

Once you have done it you are going to want to try it again. Please use a condom! Don’t think anything crazy like “I don’t need a condom because she can’t get pregnant from her azz”. I have heard guys say this. Even though she can’t get pregnant you are still at risk of disease so be safe, use a freaking condom (MAGNUM ECSTACY). Now when the time comes (I prefer to let the lady decide) as a man you can’t be walking around just talking about anal sex because you may put yourself in a closet. If during sex she is curious or wants to try she will let you know. If it is her thing she will be into it. She will know the positions that she likes and from what angle. More than likely she has tried it herself with her dildo or rubber silicone dick. So trust me if she into it your good just supply the dick and let her get it off she may take it from the back or side or ride you true cowboy style.

“If she is letting you hit the taboo zone to please you – take that into account – don’t just tear the azz up, be gentle – let her find pleasure in pleasing you – after all if she is doing it to please you as a man – you might want to ensure you can hit it again – so let her adjust, it may be new for her”.

Warming up to the booty hole

OK I am going to break this down to you guys and gals – the anus is designed to be EXIT ONLY – so the veins, tissue, capillaries are all compressed to work with the sphincter muscle to move things out- now it’s the same concentration of tissue that is the pleasure of pain when the penis enters her anus. One young lady describes anal sex as; “it is like a euphoric high without the marijuana“.

Men you cannot just go in like you can with a vagina. The keyword is "GAPE". You have to get her and her anus to relax and take form. Whether you use your tongue, finger with lubricate or sex toy with lubricate, you must give anal four-play before inserting – look for the Gape as the anus loosens it will slow to close as you continue to give four play . Once that happens substitute you Penis just using the head at first – the ease it in to her comfort level – never force it – let her body moisten itself around your Penis. You as the man will feel it loosen she will arch her back or spread her legs for you to go in…

Black Girls and Anal SEX

Men please know that 6 out of 10 black women “ARE NOT ON IT” but it’s the “FOUR” that will surprise you. You might think the hot in the club girl half dressed, very flirtatious and all over you will be the one- “Not”. It’s the quiet girl who dresses nice but not like a freak, works a regular job that will have Pandora’s Box of whips and chains and will be all into to anal sex. A couple of be black women have gotten me like that. I was with this one black woman and we were having extremely good sex. Let’s just say the mild mannered 9 to 5 day jobber had a wild side. After about two to three months of great sex she took it to a new level. This is how it went down during a session: we were in a feverish lovemaking session currently in the missionary position. I went to adjust my knee to go in deeper but in the process slipped out. I heard her say “I got you baby” and instead of putting my dick back into her pussy she put my dick head up her azz and simply said “get it but be gentle at first”. My mind was like “What the fuck I am in her azz. Damn it was her idea”!! I happily obliged her. Man what a good session that was and she was all into it. Once she gaped and got loose she was raised her hips to get me deeper inside her ass grinding and all. Then she turned over for me to hit it from the back, she loved it when I played with her pussy and clitoris and the same time until she had another orgasm. This was this first time I felt a ass hole get “cummy” while cumming from her vagina too.

The Freak in HER!!!!

Sometimes you will get a real trooper that is willing to try new things or maybe school you on a thing or two. Most women already know what they like especially if they own a dildo or vibrator. One thing that is a big turn on for me is a woman who like the taste of there own pussy. She will taste herself by either licking her fingers after she touches herself or by perform a deep blow job after you have been inside her. But if she grab your dick and sucks it after you have been in her azz well that’s a different type of hot………

Chocolate Girth……

Does Size Really Matter????

My First Time

DOES SIZE MATTER?????

2009-10-16T05:26:00.000-07:00

Stop asking me if your big enough! I hate when a man asks me is he big enough or if I enjoyed it after fucking. For one some of you don't really want the "REAL" answer. Two its a turn off and three if you couldn't tell by my reaction then its your fault. I understand that many men are sensitive about their performance. The truth is that size does matter to some but not all. A man can be eight inches and still be terrible in bed because he doesn't know what he is doing (trust me I know). The time that it takes to instruct him is tedious as hell(unless you love him)...smh. Before you run and jump to defend your manhood let me explain.

The main goal that we both share during sex is satisfaction. That includes having an orgasm or you just "busin a nut". Trying to shove 8inches into a vagina that is only 6.5inches is not pleasurable! The goal is not for you to cram every inch of you into her to prove that you are a man (take that,take that,take that). We already know that you are a man because you have a penis! All women really want you to do is make the experience pleasurable and memorable (in a good way). I can't speak for all but I can certainly say that I love a "Perfect Fit".

What is a "Perfect Fit" you may ask? A "Perfect Fit" is when you find a partner who is large enough to your liking. For example: Lets say (ladies) that your about 7.5 inches deep and your partner is 8inches then that would be a "Perfect Fit". He is just large enough even though he is a half inch larger he has just enough to try and cram in to where its not painful. Some may like maybe a half inch to and inch and a half. The pain is just enough to where its pleasurable. Men If your too big for her and try to cram every inch into her every time you can bend her cervix. Yes, men you can bend the cervix. I know that many ladies love an extremely large penis and ruff sex but be warned that this can eventually bend the cervix causing it to become difficult to become pregnant. Now don't get it twisted you can still get pregnant but it can be difficult.

So fellas to give some insight I asked some ladies if size really mattered:

CATHERINE-

Does size really matter? In my opinion, if you truly are in love with the guy then no. Your emotions take over and more of your heart is there than anything. If its just someone you want to have intercourse with then of course it does. He's probably a big talker and has nothing to show for it. Why have sex with someone if you cant feel a damn thing?! Depending on the female when a man has a small wanker then it gives the female a totally different perspective of the guy

ANGEL-

Hey lady! Let's see....size; where shall I begin? :-) (jus thinking about various sizes makes me blush...LOL)

Size: Yes, it matters! Now, you can have a HUGE dick but there are 2 downfalls that can happen with that. A) its so big that it's more uncomfortable than it is pleasurable. Yes its desirable for the sake of experience & curiousity but you know what curiousity does; kills the cat! (not in a good way) Its almost hard for him to hit your spot cuz he's so big that he's taking up ALL the spots in the coochie! lol Then you have B) a guy has a big dick but doesn't know how to use it! (such a waste of a good tool! *kills me*) He has a nice piece but his rhythm is off....he just can't satisfy you even though he's "holdin"!

Now, on the flipside of having a big dick, you have the "average to relatively small" range. While this isn't the most sought after size, I've found that I've received more pleasure from an "average" sized dick. I find that a man can hit my spot better. He can hit it at an angle better if he's able to maneuver the dick a little bit. (with a HUGE dick, he's just in there with no room to spare!) Having said all this, average sized works for me; not "small" though. Small dicks are not desirable at all! lol (none need apply!!! LOL) That just feels like somebody fingering you; so high school! :-)

In conclusion, yes...size definitely matters! I'll always give the "big boy" a try but I prefer an average size dick so I can truly enjoy the sex! Ow!!! :-)

" GENTLEMEN" ARE THEY WORTH IT?

2009-10-15T05:30:00.000-07:00

Men have you ever been dating someone and asked yourself "Are they really worth it"? Many of you get caught up in the moment where we want to show someone how we feel or think of them but many people are not worth the time or the effort. So how do you determine if the person that you are seeing is a "worth the time"?

Looks first personality second! That's just the way that it is no matter what someone tells you but once we meet that person we forget to have real conversations with them. Example: if your planning the first date what suggestions are being made for the date. If you suggest Morton's and she wants Applebees then there is a problem and we are not just talking income here. Fellas if you suggest Morton's and she is dead set on Applebees because she has never been or never heard of it then you might want to keep it moving. She is not open to try new things and/or experiences.

Now of course on the first date we want to look our best so men that means "NO WHITE T-SHIRTS". If we are going to a nice restaurant a polo shirt and some nice khakis would be nice. Please do not sag so much that we have to look at your underwear. Depending on who is driving for this date if the music playing is anything Gucci or if its Plies "Becky" then you might want to get that emergency phone call jumping off so you can keep it moving. Fellas if your bring your date roses and she looks at you funny just turn around and leave. I was reading twitter and I saw that one of the people that I follow had bought his date some roses and she told him that he was moving to fast. Ladies I want you to remember that most men have no idea what the different color roses mean. So if he brings you red roses on the first date that does not mean that he is in love with you already or that he is ready to hit the sheets immediately. He is being called a rare species know as a "Gentleman".

Yes they still exist! Gentlemen walk against the curb of the street and open doors and are not always trying to cop a feel every time they see you. When you go out with a "Gentleman" the date does not always require a sexual favor. "Gentlemen" do not play songs like "Fuck My Baby Mama" by Eazy-E right before sex (true story). "Gentlemen" take you on trips out of the state just because he wants to do something nice with you (ever just leave the state to go to a movie). "Gentlemen" buy you "Just Thinking About You" cards just because. "Gentlemen will not let you spend more on them than what you would spend on yourself. "Gentlemen" demands that others in his presence respect you no matter what the situation is. A "Gentleman" simply just enjoys your company.

Ladies please take note because they are a rare species and you can easily kill them for the next lady simply by being a "Bitch"!

I dedicate this one to all the gentlemen that I have met and that have been destroyed by that Bitch!

THE ORGASMIC KISS

2009-10-07T05:40:00.000-07:00

How can you have an orgasm from just a kiss? Well to start off many woman may not be able to experience this but for those that have we can tell you that it can be one of the most amazing orgasms that you can every have. The first time that I had ever experienced and orgasm by kiss it took four hours of kissing. We did not start off intentionally looking to have an orgasm by kissing it just sorta happened. I know many can not imagine kissing for four hours but if you are kissing someone that can really kiss and you are sexually attracted to them it can happen. Kissing is one of the most erotic, sensual, and passionate activities that one can do with their partner. It is one of the best ways to tell how a person really feels about you without words. Let's be real it is the closest that we can get to someone next to sex.

I do want you to understand that there is a proper method to kissing. Shoving your tongue down your partners throat is not always a turn on. Now before you start the kiss we need to start at the beginning of the day before you meet up with your partner. whcih involves exfoliating the lips. Yes, you can exfoliate the lips! Haven't you watched The Tyra Show? You can start by taking some vaseline and putting some on your lips. Leave the vaseline on for five minutes and then take a warm face cloth and in a gentle circular motion rub the towel around the lips removing the dead skin. Once you are done place a light coat of Vaseline back on the lips. Soft lips make for the best kisses.

Now when starting the kiss please remember that no Carmex should be on the lips. Medicated kisses are not sexy! Ladies if you have it use the flavored lip gloss cause it makes the kiss more interesteing when your partner is trying to suck it off :-) .

How do you have an orgasm by kissing well first the mood needs to be right and you need to mentally in tune with your body. You have to mentally place your mind in a state where you are aware of all the sensations that bring you pleasure while you are kissing your partner. Start off by picking a position. You can be either sitting on your partners lap or you can be laying down (now fellas you may not have an orgasm from doing this but the turn on is making her have one). Whatever position that you are in take your hand and place it on the back of your partners neck. The palm of your hand should be at the base of the head and neck. Place the thumb right behind the ear. You can use your fingers to play with their hair. Now tilt the head to the desired position. Gently pull your partner towards you. Gently rub your lips against theirs and take notice of the softness of your partners lips. Use the tip of your tongue to lick your partners lips and when the moment is right insert the tip of your tongue inside your partners mouth and then pull back. You want to take your tongue and circle the tip of your partners tongue with yours and pull back. Try licking the top, underside, and the sides of their tongue and pull back. You want to continue doing this with rhythmic movements. You can change up the kiss by imitating each kiss that your partner does. If your partner circles the tip of your tongue, pulls back and licks your lips then you mimic the same. If you suck on your partners tongue the pressure should be light. If you suck too hard it can ruin the kiss.

If you are sitting on

French Kissing 101: It may be hard to believe but not many people know how to french kiss. Control your tongue when kissing your partner. As stated before you do not have to shove your entire tongue in their mouth. The french kiss is an erotic exploration of your partner's mouth and tongue with your tongue. If you shove too much tongue into your partners mouth you have less control over how you move your tongue. Start with just sticking the tip of the tongue in your partner's mouth and then pull back. Use your tongue to lick the sides and underside

JACK RABBIT SEX

2009-10-01T21:31:00.000-07:00

He moaned "I am about to cum" and I could not have been happier because it was about to be over. I couldn't believe I just had "Jack Rabbit" sex like Carrie from "Sex In The City". For those of you that do not know Jack Rabbit sex is fast paced, highly aggressive sex also known as Bang, Bang, Bang. Many men believe that women love to have sex this way when in reality it can be painful and unsatisfying. Jack Rabbit sex is like masturbating with a woman. You are fucking her as if you are fucking your hand. You don't have to beat it up for the sex to be enjoyable.
As I stated before Jack Rabbit sex is not enjoyable especially if that is the constant motion during intimacy. You should be taking the time to enjoy the way she feels. Men need to take the time to learn the art of thrusting. The various speeds, depths and angle of the thrusts can make sex very enjoyable. So how should you begin?
Start by taking the tip of your penis and rubbing it around the opening of her vagina. This helps to build arousal which in turn increases her vaginal secretions or in laymens terms causes her to be really wet ( don't forget the kissing on the lips and the breasts are still necessary). As you do this you will notice how she opens and closes as if she was trying to pull you in. Don't give it all to her yet. Let her lips kiss the tip of your penis. Now tease her by sticking just the tip of the penis inside her. Remember the more you tease her the more aroused she will become. Now when your ready give her all of you but slowly. You want her to feel every inch of you as you enter her with a deep thrust. Now once inside her you don't have to immediately have to start beating it it (thrusting intensely). The whole point is to enjoy the experience need I remind you!
Now after you have entered her (assuming that you are on top) grab her by the back of the head (grab some of her hair but not to tight) and look her in the eye and thrust deeply into her. You want her to know that you are in control and that right now this is your pussy and that you are going to make her feel as if she is being made love to. Pull out and do nine shallow thrusts and then one deep thrust then withdraw, pause, reenter and perform eight shallow strokes and one deep. Continue the countdown. eventually you will get and the rhythm and you will not need to count anymore. You can also vary the thrusting techniques by also trying the "Corkscrew" maneuver. The "Corkscrew involves the man moving slightly right and the moving slightly to the left while thrusting. You are moving your penis inside her vagina in a circular motion by doing this. This method is best when done in the missionary position or while doing it Doggy style. The "Corkscrew can cause a deep orgasm for many women. You can speed up the motion as the intensity of the sex increases.
Ladies don't feel left out because if he is not thrusting inside of you the way that you want him to you can take control of the penis. Ladies if you are on top you have full control of the depth and the intensity of how his penis enters you. To start off don't just jump on the penis as if it was one of those stick on the chair dildos that you bought from the store. Sit on the penis slowly. If he grabs you by the waist or if he grabs you by the crease of your ass and thigh to take control take his hands and place them above his head. While moving his hands above his head kiss him passionately on the lips. You want him to know that you are in control. You can also adjust his thrusts by the way you angle your body. Shift your pelvis in a different direction.
So men we need for you to take time when you are in us to enjoy the feeling. Enjoy the warmth and wetness of her while you are inside of her. There is nothing like the sensation of you being inside of her. Sometimes she may not want to cum or have an orgasm. She may just want the experience of the feeling of having you inside of her.

(Remember if you are going to have sex please use a condom! Use the links to the right to order your free Trojan Ecstasy condoms while supplies last. If you are going to go raw be honest with your partner about the last time you have been tested for any STDs especially HIV)

Good Girl

I AM THE OTHER WOMAN

2009-09-30T10:42:00.000-07:00

I am the other woman. What separates me from you is that I know my position. Granted you may be "Mainline" but I get the same passes and privileges as you.

I am the other woman cause I fuck better than you. I don't even have to be like Superhead, hell he doesn't even ask that of me. You wanna make love and I just want him to fuck me.

I am the other woman cause I make it easy for him to talk to me. You critique his goals and things he considers accomplishments. I am right there to tell him that I am proud of him and then offer my assistance with his next goal.

I am the other woman because I am not always in his pockets. On Payday you stand there with your hand out stretched so that you can go shopping. You complain when he gives you a limited amount. The amount is limited cause he has already went shopping for me.

I am the other woman and I drive not only his car but yours as well when he has it. Those some of those business trips that he is one are really getaways for the two of us. He takes you to Outback and takes me to Mortons. We have even met before too. Trying to remember when? Don't bother because you will never figure it out.

I am the other woman because I make sure he doesn't get caught. I never call him he calls me. Don't bother searching his phone cause you will never find my number. I am listed under a males name or a business or I could be an alternate number for a friend. Try calling the numbers in the phone but beware of what you say cause you could damage a real business relationship looking for me.

I am the other woman cause you will never catch us out because I don't have the same interests as you. If he slips up and mentions my name he can simply explain it away because you want so desperately to believe that you are the only one.

I am the other woman because you can't compete with me. You trick on him and in turn he tricks on me. What he doesn't give to you he gives to me. I already know that it will not last. It ends when I am done with the thrill.

Sincerely,
The Other Woman

(This is not a real letter just a creative work)
(Please ladies don't read more into this than what it is)

HEARTLESS

2009-09-13T23:21:00.001-07:00

Words can not express the pain that you feel when you are being dumped. The pain that you feel when the person that you love says that they no longer want to be with you. I think the video by for "Who's Gonna Sav e My Soul" by Gnarls Barkley explains it the best.

ORAL LOVEMAKING

2009-09-04T04:08:00.000-07:00

Its 2009 and I can’t believe that men still don’t perform oral. That’s almost as bad as the females that I meet that never had an orgasm. Deep down inside if a man has not tried it he truly wants to. Its just that he doesn’t know how. I know that their are some women that do not like to be eaten out. This however can be an enjoyable experience if it is done properly. Their have been many conformist to this idea once they have had a partner that knew what they were doing. So you already know that I am going to tell you how to get it done. First you need to start off by finding what she ate for the day. I know that you may be asking why this is important? Remember the saying “You are what you eat” well this holds true when performing oral. The bodily fluids that you secret can contain flavors of things that you ate earlier in the day. That means if your daily diet consists of a lot of alcohol, garlic, onions, asparagus and you smoke it can cause you to leave a bad taste in his/her mouth. I would suggest eating plenty of fruit and drinking lots of water each day to sweeten your juices. Try eating lots of pineapple, papaya, cranberry, melons, mangos, apples, grapes. These fruits are high in natural sugars and offset the is bitter taste. That does clarify “she tastes like a peach” doesn’t it.

I would start with stimulation but I will safely assume that you already have that down packed. Now before you start I need for you to remember that this area is sensitive and the most sensitive part in this area is the clitoris. Pressure is everything when performing oral. She may or may not like intense pressure on her clit. Listen to her moans pay attention to her body movements. If she is moving away it could be because the pressure is to intense so change the pressure. Ladies I also need for you to tell your partner how much pressure that you like. You need to tell them either “more pressure” or “light pressure” so that they know what is stimulating you.

Start by spreading her legs and placing the palms of your hands against her thighs and use your thumbs to spread her outer lips (ladies you should either be clean shaven which means no stubble or you need to be cut close enough to where your partner is not going to gag on a hair). Lick and kiss the area surrounding the clitoris. If you need to expose the clitoris with your thumbs lightly lift the clitoral hood to expose the clitoris. With your tongue apply light pressure to the tip of the clitoris. Kiss and suck the sides of the clitoris. Gently kiss the clitoris. As she becomes more aroused insert your middle and index finger into the vagina. Move the fingers in a “come here” motion. Take the tip of the tongue and flick it rapidly back and forth along the top of the clitoris. Then move your tongue up and down the shaft of the clitoris. As she is nearing orgasm insert your tongue in her vagina and move your tongue in a circular motion. As she is cumming move your tongue back and forth. Feel her vaginal muscles try and pull your tongue deep inside her. Ladies if you need to grab the back of your partners head but don’t try to bury their face in the vagina so that they can not breathe. Your partner still needs to breathe. Use one hand the grab the head and use the other to grip the sheets. Depending on the strength of the orgasm you should be able to grab the back of your partner’s head and slightly raise your hips and ride your partners tongue.

Depending on the woman she may actually cum or as some men may say “bust-a-nut”. She will secrete a creamy looking substance that looks like semen from the vagina. She can even be a squirter as well. Yes, she can bust in your eye to. I want you to know that this all natural. You don’t have to perform oral on her until she cums. Oral can be performed right before intercourse. Its can be most arousing to bring her to the brink of orgasm and then to stop oral to begin intercourse. The same technics described above can also be used during the 69 position as well. The importance of the female orgasm may be of importance to men because (depending on the woman’s orgasm) during the female orgasm her jaws and throat may become more relaxed so that she can deep throat.

I hope that these technics have helped you to become more aware of the female and male orgasm. I know that the men may be wondering where their instructional is for the females on how to perform oral on a man but right now I think that Karrin Steffans lastest book (which includes pictures) is instructional enough. Besides that technic coming from me is classified!

LOVE HURTS

2009-09-04T04:06:00.000-07:00

My face was still swollen from being hit in the face with a brick. I don't even know how I ended up here. Everything was so perfect between us in the beginning. I would have never done anything to hurt Aaron. One year later here I stand explaining what brought us here.

Officer Nichols: I this may be hard for you right now but can you explain when the physical abuse began?

My once sexy smile is now destroyed after having Aaron knock my tooth out after I came home late. I probably should have called but I didn't think that I was that late. During the argument Aaron threw the remote at me an knocked out my tooth. Later Aaron apologized. I know it wasn't intentional. You know how arguments get heated.

Officer Nichols: Why didn't you leave ?

I love Aaron and our child. I know I should have walked away after the Aaron tried to choke me but I know I can do things that make people wanna get at me. I want to be there for our child. Family is important to me. I believe in two parent households and our child should not suffer because of a few misunderstandings between us.

Officer Nichols: Do you remember the events of earlier today?

I don't know how I ended up here. I remember talking to my co-worker Shelley and then feeling this pain against the left side of my head. I looked around and saw Aaron standing in front of me yelling. I couldn't really hear what was being said because the sound was muffled. I touched my head and when I brought my fingers around to the front of my face i saw the blood. Before I could say anything to Aaron pounce on me and started punching me. The next thing that I remember is my hands around Aaron's throat and then everything went black.

Officer Nichols: Your co-worker ran and called security when your girlfriend hit you in the face with the brick. I want you to know that violence is never good in relationship no matter what end it comes from.

Why Do Men Stay In Abusive And Violent Relationships?

Protecting Their Children. Abused men are afraid to leave their children alone with an abusive woman. They are afraid that if they leave they will never be allowed to see their children again. The man is afraid the woman will tell his children he is a bad person or that he doesn't love them.

Assuming Blame (Guilt Prone). Many abused men believe it is their fault or feel they deserve the treatment they receive. They assume blame for events that other people would not. They feel responsible and have an unrealistic belief that they can and should do something that will make things better.

Dependency (or Fear of Independence). The abused man is mentally, emotionally or financially dependent on the abusive woman. The idea of leaving the relationship creates significant feelings of depression or anxiety. They are "addicted" to each other.
Who Can Help If You Are In An Abusive or Violent Relationship?

Help for men who are victims of domestic abuse and violence is not as prevalent as it is for women. There are virtually no shelters, programs or advocacy groups for men. Most abused men will have to rely on private counseling services. Community resources for breaking the cycle of violence are scarce and not well developed.

National Domestic Abuse Hotline
1 (800) 799 - SAFE

(oregoncounseling)

GROWN WOMEN-vs-GIRLS

2009-08-26T19:24:00.001-07:00

Insecure Women want to control the man in their life.

Secure Women know that if he's truly hers, he doesn't need controlling.

Insecure Women check you for not calling them.

Secure Women are too busy to realize you hadn't.

Insecure Women are afraid to be alone.

Secure Women revel in it-using it as a time for personal growth.

Insecure Women ignore the good guys.

Secure Women ignore the bad guys.

Insecure Women make you come home.

Secure Women make you want to come home.

Insecure Women leave their schedule wide-open and wait for a guy to call and make plans.

Secure Women make their own plans and nicely tell the guy to get in where he fits.

Insecure Women worry about not being pretty and/or good enough for their man
.
Secure Women know that they are pretty and/or good enough for any man.

Insecure Women try to monopolize all their man's time (i.e., don't want him hanging with his friends).

Secure Women realize that a lil' bit of space makes the 'together time' even more special-and goes to kick it with her own friends.

Insecure Women think a guy crying is weak.

Secure Women offer their shoulder and a tissue.

Insecure Women want to be spoiled and 'tell' their man so.

Secure Women log you off your email when they are on the computer.

Insecure Women Check your email and text messages.

Secure Women 'show' him and make him comfortable enough to reciprocate without fear of losing his 'manhood'.

Insecure Women get hurt by one man and make all men pay for it.

Secure Women know that was just one man.

Insecure Women fall in love and chase aimlessly after the object of their affection, ignoring all 'signs'.

Secure Women know that sometimes the one you love, doesn't always love you back-and move on, without bitterness.

RELATIONSHIP PINK SLIP

2009-08-26T06:21:00.000-07:00

Closure is what many of us seek at the end of a relationship but many times we are left to wonder what went wrong? We are left to wonder if it was something that you did to them or maybe someone better came along. The feeling of not knowing can be a hard pill to swallow. It can emotionally devastating for some. You have been given you relationship "Pink Slip" but you have no idea WHY?

I fell in love once over a phone call. As simple as that sounds that was all that it took for him to have my heart. What was special about the call was that it was Valentines Day and me and this person had plans for that evening. We spoke that morning but later that evening he was a no show. He did not return any of my calls. I am used to not having a date for Valentines but I thought that this year would be different. As the days went on I became upset because I had not heard from him. By weeks end I received a call from an inmate in a correctional facility. It was him. He called to tell me that he didn't stand me up but that he got caught up in a situation with some people and he wanted me to know that. He didn't want anything from me nor did he want me to do anything for him. He simply wanted me to know that I was that special to him. It was just that simple I received that closure that I needed to move on. I no longer had as feeling of rejection or inadequacy. As far as our relationship we still remain good friends and he is no longer in a correctional facility. His stay was not even that long. Our lives however were moving in different directions so a real relationship was not to be had. As I had found closure in the previous relationship there is one that I have not yet to find closure. I had spent days and nights trying to figure out what went wrong. All communication broke down between us. He was someone that I felt was a good friend but apparently I was wrong. It was the perfect relationship without commitment. We would play video games and watch movies (I am a movie and video game enthusiast). Eventually the relationship became physical. I will admit that the physical was amazing! I would have been happy if things stayed as they were but eventually he wanted to be in a relationship. Prior to him I had not been in a serious relationship in 2yrs so I was hesitant. One of the things that made me hesitant was that fact that he was a rapper and I am aware of the temptations in that he has and would face in that career but also we stayed in two hours away from each other. He was very persistent, eventually I decided that being in a relationship with him would not be so bad after all. The day that I wanted to give him his answer I called and got no answer. I sent him a text to call me and I left a message but I got no answer. The next day I spoke to a mutual friend that told me that my friend no longer wanted to be bothered with me because "I" was pressuring him to be in a relationship. The only thought that came to my mind was "Wow". The first conversation of a relationship came from his lips. I was perfectly content with the way that things were. I never got a chance to speak with him again because he would not take my calls or respond to any of the text messages that I sent. I just wanted to know what the real problem was. To this day I have never spoken to this person again and the most conversation that we have had after the fact was a "How are you" on Myspace. What makes it hard for one to bring another party closure is because you don't want to hurt their feelings. But one may not be aware that they do more damage by leaving the person in a state of not knowing. I have recently had partners in previous relationships approach me to explain why they left. They felt the need to tell me after all of these years is because they felt that they needed a sense of closure for themselves.

GOOD GIRL

2009-08-24T04:57:00.000-07:00

The anticipation of wanting him inside me was so high that I couldn't control myself and masturbated before he arrived at my suite. I knew the moment when I saw him that neither one of us wouldn't be able to keep our hands to ourselves yet alone our tongues. This man's kisses were so passionate and succulent. I don't know how many times I came in my panties from his moist kisses. The doorbell rang as I was getting myself together. He stepped inside my doorway with his long tall frame. "Damn it!!!!" I said to myself. He kissed me and asked how was my day. As usual he always makes it better when he arrives to sooth the pain away.

He picked me up and carried me to the bedroom. I felt his hardon in his pants. Damn, all I wanted to do was taste it and I couldn't express it enough. I unzipped his pants and pulled down his boxers and placed his long hard shaft ever so gently inside the wet walls of my mouth. Ummmmm....... precum the best shit and I couldn't wait to tatste more. I slid my tongue around his dick over and over to examine it with my long juicy tongue. We switched positions as I was sitting on the bed. I wanted him to lay down and let me get on top while I worked my magic. I sucked it hard as if my mouth was a suction pump and then relaxed as I threw in the curl of my tongue around his dick. I slid his dick in and out of my mouth and I started to drool on it. It became slippery so I added the right kind of hand action at the base of his dick with the half but light touch of jacking him off action. As I started sucking harder he started squirming and his toes started curling. He pulled my head closer and down harder on his dick and told me he wanted to cum inside me and he wanted me to taste him. I agreed by sucking him harder. He was enjoying it. I lightened up a bit , didn't want him to have a stroke on me from the intensity of my blow job. I flicked my tongue on it and tried sticking my tongue into the split as much as I could while I massaged his balls and cupped both of them in my mouth while licking his dick. By this time he was ready to explode and I did what any good girl would. I obeyed my man and got on my knees while he stood over me and released every bit of his hard working day into my mouth. As he stood there doing so I just watched him shake and jerk while having fun with the cum in my mouth. He told me I was a good girl for taking every bit and swallowing.

(this story was done by submission. If you have a story to submit send to mentallyorgasmic@gmail.com)

ORGASMIC-ALLY CHALLENGED

2009-08-19T19:50:00.000-07:00

Many women have never had or are not sure that they have had an orgasm. These women are the ones that I call orgasmic-ally deprived. Yes, If you have never had one I blame you! How is your partner suppose to know how to satisfy you if you don’t know what you want or need to be satisfied. Its like the blind leading the blind if you ask me. Don’t worry because I am going to help you discover “Your Sexy”.

Step #1:

So you may be asking yourself “How is she going to help me find my sexy”? I am going to start with this simple question (but first I need you to stand in front of a full length mirror naked): “Do you think you are sexy”? Some of you are not going to be so quick to answer yes because you are only looking at your flaws. Stretch marks, cellulite, and that little belly that you have is still sexy to a lot of men! I need for you to focus on the things that make you as a woman sexy whether its the thickness of your thighs, the curvature of your hips, the smallness of your waist, and the fullness of your breast. These things make you sexy as a woman. You need to love all aspects of your body including your flaws. Improve on the things that you can but love everything else just the way that it is. There is nothing more sexy to your partner whether male or female is someone that has confidence in their appearance. Your partner may find that
the dimples in the booty are the sexiest thing on your body. The stretch marks on your thighs and ass may be the thing that gets him aroused. You need to feel the same way. Once you have accomplished that and started to see your self as sexy you are ready to move onto the next step.

Step #2

Once you have started to become attracted to yourself you need to begin to take your time to find out how you like to be touched. No, I am not saying for you to start molesting yourself immediately (at least not yet anyway). You need to take the time to start learning the pressure points on your body. You can do this when you are in the tub, putting on lotion or better yet right after you left the spa from getting a mint body wrap. Whether you are in the bed or on the couch should have total silence in the room. You want to only focus on your breathing and you the sensations you are about to experience. You should start by lying on your back and begin rubbing your leg with your finger tips. Apply very light to heavy pressure as you move your fingers up and down your calf. Close your eyes how does the sensation make you feel? Now make your way up your thigh. Slowly rub the inner thigh. Focus on the sensation that you have when your fingertips lightly move around your thigh and up to you hip.
Now do the same thing with the opposite leg. All the while concentrate on your breathing and the sensations that you are experiencing. Work your way up your torso up to your breast. Gently fondle your breasts. Then work your way to your arms. Are you beginning to get turned on yet? Try to restrain from touching your clitoris and your vagina. The whole point of this step is for you to become in tune with your body. If you are doing this right you may already be having an orgasm or on the verge of having one. (I know I am). You are now ready for step #3

Step #3:

Now that you know how you like to be touched now its time for you to learn the difference between a vaginal and a and a clitoral orgasm. By learning the difference between the two will help you to know if you have or have not experienced an orgasm. You need to set the mood for this one so have a glass of Chardonnay, light some candles turn on “After Hours” or insert your favorite Cd (custom cd with all you favorite sensual songs are recommended for step and increase the bass setting on the radio as well). Begin by rubbing your fingers along your inner thigh and along the crease of your ass and your thigh. Explore your body as you did in step #2. This time once you are turned on take your index finger and the ring finger and gently massage the inner lips of the vagina. Once again focusing on your breathing as your fin-
gers explore the inner lips. Take the middle finger and gently play with the tip of your clitoris. Apply various forms of pleasure. Massage the clitoris by rubbing it between your index and ring finger. Move your hand closer to you vagina and lightly massage the vagina. Don’t insert your finger just yet we can’t have you going for immediate gratification just yet. With the middle finger massage the clitoris in a circular motion. While manipulating the clitoris the vaginal muscles will automatically begin to contract. Focus on contracting your vaginal muscles as you continue to play with your clitoris. Don’t come just yet! You want to intensify the orgasm by delaying it. This is called “Masturbation Interruptus”. Become completely aroused and then stop. Repeat this step until you can no longer can take it then insert your middle and ring finger into your vagina. Use your thumb to continue the stimulation of the clitoris. As you climax let your vaginal muscles push and pull your fingers in and out to continue the orgasmic feeling manipulate focus on the sensation that you are feeling and lightly rub the tip of the clitoris. Vary the pressure that you apply while staying focused on the sensation that you are feeling. If the sensations are become more intense and vaginal walls are contracting more intensely you are experiencing an orgasm. Now that you are more aware of how you like to be stimulated and you know what a clitoral orgasm is you are now

ready to experience the vaginal orgasm. Pick up the phone and call your partner for this last step. :-)

Step #4

Now having a vaginal orgasm is not the same as having a clitoral orgasm. During the lovemaking process you need to more vocal with your partner. You are in control of your orgasm and ultimately theirs as well. If they are not touching you where you need to be touched to become aroused you need to direct them. Verbally tell them where you want to touched or grab their hand and slowly and silently guide their hands to the spots on your body that causes you arousal. Kissing is a very important part in the arousal with your partner. Shoving your tongue down their throat is not a turn on. Take the time too truly enjoy the kiss. The kisses should be light, playful and teasing. Use your tongue to light caress the lips, play with the tip of your partners tongue. Kiss them passionately. Rub your hands along their body the same way that you did yours in step #2.

Now whether you want to go into oral after kissing is your choice (and I would have to give another step for you to have an orgasm while giving oral) but we are going to continue focusing on the vaginal orgasm. Now once you are ready for penetration (www.trojan.com)
you need to make sure make sure that you are in a position that you are comfortable with. Whether you are on your back, on top, or in the Huckle Buck you need to participate. Don’t just lay there! Being a pillow princess is not a turn on.
(Pillow Princes is one who just lays there) Remember that you are in charge of your partners orgasm as well. Arch your back and position yourself to where you can raise your hips to meet his when your partner is on top. Press your hands against the head board, wall, back of the couch (wherever you are) to gain more leverage. Follow the rhythmic motion that your partner has. If they are going to fast or slow whisper the speed that you want. Ladies if you are riding your need to do more than just bounce up and down. You need to dominate your partner. Put his hands above his head like he does yours. Slow grind on him while either kissing him passionately or looking him in the eye. Remember those vaginal muscles that you discovered in the last step. Use those same muscles now. You want to have the muscles to contract while you ride him. If you find that trying to make the muscles contract while riding is taking to much concentration position yourself to where the clitoris is exposed and lean slightly forward so that you can stimulate the clitoris against his body (men this works best if you have shaven). Imagine that your vagina is hugging him or that it is a hand squeezing him. Kiss and lick his neck. Continue until you feel the pressure rise and you have an orgasm. Congratulations you have found “Your Sexy”

When your partner is hitting it from the back throw it back at them. Wrap your legs around them and put that arch in your back. Not sure why he likes that position? Next time get the same mirror that was used in step one and position it near the bed and check your self out

while your partner is back there. Yes you are sexy in this position! Achieving an orgasm while in the doggy style position requires focus once again on the vaginal muscles. You don’t have to do to much work in this position. Let you partner enjoy being in charge for awhile. Once the pace slows down then that’s when you spring into action. Take control of the position. Bounce back and forth and move your hips. Tilt your hips slightly forward and back again. Imagine your hips are moving in a waving motion like the ocean. By now I shouldn’t have to tell you but I will again “work the muscles”. The same goes for the Huckle Buck. Arch your back and press your hands against something brace your position.

I stated before that you are in charge of partners orgasm as well. So how can you make him achieve it? Participate in the act. The more that you are aware of what turns you on the less stress and focus that your partner has to give to make sure that you are satisfied. Most men are used to making sure that his partner gets theirs before they can focus on their pleasure. The time that they take to try and figure out what turns you on and off can be time consuming. By the time they get you to your peak they just want to cum and go to sleep. A woman that knows what she needs and participates allows an man to focus on what turns him on. Talk dirty to him even say his name. These things encourage him on the act. They let him know that he pleasuring you correctly. Look him in the eye and give him that “Fuck me look”! Once a man is able to focus on his arousal like you are focused on yours. This will also help to kill the
infamous “Jack Rabbit” sex and the “101 Positions”. Jack Rabbit sex is the constant pounding. It is also known as “Bam Bam Bam”. That is not pleasurable in my opinion however their are some that love that. 101 positions is what a man feels he needs to do in order to please a woman. Men its not the number of positions that you put her in. Its whether or not you can satisfy her.

If you are one that has trouble rotating the hips get a Hoola Hoop and start practicing. Make sure you get the Shoop Shoop (you know the ones that have the balls in them and make the “shoop shoop” noise when you doing it right) If that does not help learn how to belly dance. Not only does belly dancing help to tighten the mid section but it shows you how to rotate your hips. One of the important things to remember in sex is your breathing. In Tantric Sex teachings we are taught to breathe each others breathe during the act. This doesn’t mean that you are really inhaling their breathe. You inhale as your partner exhales. You are in a sense becoming one. Your body’s are one in this experience. It is important to enjoy the experience whether you are in a long term relationship or a one night stand. I know that many of you may be skeptical about the one night stand but think about it. You found someone in the club or wherever that you think can satisfy that urge that you have for that moment. If you are going to have a one night stand shouldn’t you make the most of it and truly enjoy yourself? Don’t forget to always practice safe sex. An orgasm can be just not intense if not more by knowing that your partner is wearing a condom.

Do Men Have Orgasms

DO MEN HAVE ORGASMS???

2009-08-19T13:09:00.000-07:00

As many of you know an Orgasm is the climatic peak that one reaches during sex. Recently I came across a blog post on “Nakedwithsockon” discussing how men can fake orgasm . This left me with the question “Can Men Have Orgasms”? Its something that I have never discussed nor have I ever heard a man talk about having one. Upon reading the blog I learned that even though a man ejaculates at the end of sex does not mean that he had an orgasm(yes ladies men can fake orgasms that is if they know what one is). “I know the question running though most people’s minds right now is: “Why would a man need to fake it?” Same reason women do, to protect their partner’s feelings. Whenever I talk to my female friends about this topic it always seems to come as a big shock that a woman can be wack in the sack. Despite popular belief, just being there is NOT enough. Just as men can be a lame lay so can the fairer sex” (www.nakedwithsockson.com.)

Of course after reading the blog I had to do some research of my own. According to Western Sex therapists beliefs a males ejaculation and orgasm are the same thing. Eastern sex therapists believe that men do experience orgasms like women and the orgasm may or may not include ejaculation. This does not mean that their body will convulse and shake like a woman but they do experience something similar. So what does the man experience? According to the information that I gathered a “males penis experiences contractions and pleasurable sensations around the genital area similar in timing and sequence to a females orgasm”.

Even after getting this information I still had to find some men that could describe the male orgasm to me because I was still lost in translation. I asked 6 men whether or not they have had an orgasm and could they describe the feeling. These are the comments that I got from some of the men that I know:

DREW

Are you talking about coming or something else? IS there something else.

CHOCOLATE GIRTH

When men hear the term male multiple orgasm they often imagine experiencing orgasm and ejaculation several times in a row (like a female would) But the term male multiple orgasm usually refer to the experience of having several non-ejaculatory orgasms in a row during one session of sex play, which is a different, but intense and satisfying, sexual experience. In laymen’s term it is truly the buildup or the connection of physical to mental being totally aligned at the moment. I truly feel sorry for those who have not yet had one or many – but still think that because they have had a large ejaculation that it equals a Man-gasm - NOT SO – STUPID.
Just because you had a large ejaculation means nothing to that specific topic – maybe you drank a lot of water – to its just been more than five days till your last encounter.

Fella’s for those of you who feel its not cool to totally let go and enjoy the sexual tenderness that your lady can give you – Your fucking missing out!!! If you think that by relaxing and enjoying will deem you as whipped – oh well. Its like this for those of us who put in selfless work to bring our ladies to the point of orgasm- when they reaching for shit that ain't there, toes curling backwards, speaking in other languages, eyes rolled back and you scared to touch her- Fuck that I want her to make me feel the same way…. So I'ma bout to lay back and get my session on – talk to you lames lata…

SHAWN

I never had one.

KING

A feeling that most men may not talk about often is the same feeling that has allowed us to keep Millions of Women in Love or strung out in Lust. This Feeling is the Male Orgasm…sort of sounds like an Oxymoron lol but yet it is the same feeling that has evoked an “I love you” out of a male in false pretenses during sex or ended one of the worst arguments of the year. Lets cut the games the male orgasm is developing at those moments right before we are about to cum. I say moments and not seconds because a knowledgeable individual can control the actual level and length of this sensation to last long enough to continue the passion. It’s also a warning that the end may be near for the sexual hurricane….or babbling brook that they may be engaged in. Some men may never witness this underrated sensation due to a rush to finish a job in which they are only working to please themselves. On the other hand it is said that” Nice Guys finish last because they make sure that she cums first”. The sexual orgasm leaves a man with a strong sense of accomplishment while glancing over at his woman and noticing her smiling at him as she drifts into slumber. Simply busting a nut is why he is probably out of your crib ladies before you can fix your hair straight again. For Some actually realizing when they are having an orgasm can be about as difficult as achieving one or multiples for his girl. One thing is Sirtainly for sure we can not have those back to back like women…When It has happened it has happened…Although I have realized that Going down on her to Indulge myself in a feeding frenzy, does speed up the time in between for me to continue once again. It’s something about hearing her reach her sexual Climax Once again that just compels me to continue my Civic Duty lol…The real question is how long will I have the passion for her to devote my all to satisfying her…guess that depends on her ability to satisfy me as well.

KEVIN

YES I HAVE HAD ONE!

SCOTTY J

The male orgasm, aka “busting a nut”- honestly isn’t hard to explain but Miss Intro requested and explanation, so I felt obligated to re-investigate the phenomenon over and over again until I could come up with a creditable explanation. Lol! Its almost like you are in the middle of an intense buzz! This high you can feel all over your body! From that place behind your eyes where you can usually feel a migraine headache starting down to your toes! The only problem is the high only lasts for a 3 to 10 seconds tops. The orgasmic feeling can be extended for a few seconds if you find a partner that genuinely loves you the way that it feels when you bust inside of them. I don;y know how to truthfully explain that magic but its crippling. Lol!

DANA

A male orgasm is like a roller coaster.

CHARLES

The satisfaction and feeling for a male orgasm is very undescribable, but a numbing feeling of sensation. If your partner does it right she might get breakfast or lunch and a beverage when it is done.